Invitations from God

Hello Divergents,

I've never had a move like this.

Am I running away or running towards, or both?

This is excruciatingly painful. I mean that very sincerely.

Most days are hard to get moving, weighted down by the immense heaviness of grief, or locked in by the buzzing, tight, tumult of anxiety. But there are also energizing and mobilizing highs of new horizons, in addition to the wet tears of great gratitude and compounding connection.

Transitions are all, regardless of their specifics, like this. They embody both/and; nothing is excluded.

—

We'd like all rainbows and rose petals, but there's thunderstorms, hail, tornadoes, and yes, thorns.

If you're close to a rainbow, you're likely wet.

If you're intimate with roses, you probably have scratched skin and snagged clothes.

—

Certain things transpiring in my life are devastating and crushing, others are liberating, enthralling as long-awaited dreams are realized.

I talk to God and, in this season, God has told me go deeper - deeper into love - love for myself and for others. (Writing these words led to an instant flooding of my eyes and sinuses and a moaning exhale - if you know, you know).

This sinking into deeper love is painfully stretching and profoundly beautiful. I find myself experiencing nourishing gratitude, guided by curiosity into new possibilities, and beckoned to deeper self-knowledge, acceptance, and self-expression.

God invited me yesterday to explore play as a daily practice - a reminder to bring forward the learnings of last year’s theme of play.

Being playful in such a tender-heartedness bittersweet time will be new for me, but I trust God, at least in theory and some of the time in action. I'm excited to see how it plays out interwoven with this year’s theme of thriving.

(Best practice for a meaningful life is accepting God's invitations. Sidenote - if you don’t like “God” say universe, or intuition, if that is better for you.)

—-

When I did clown school last fall, the last day I got to go through an embodied visualization exercise leading me to my clown persona.

I was so, so, so very kind. I was effusively loving. I was purely focused on the well-being of others: physical, emotional, mental (other students were also emerging as their newly discovered clown selves with instructions to use no words). I didn't care if I looked silly, awkward, clumsy, foolish or like a baffoon. I was so clear in my purpose to love and encourage. I accomplished this by freely handing out eye contact, smiles, thumbs up, loving pats on the backs, and playful antics with my clown school peers.

—

In this season of deep grief, goodbyes, and letting go, I am invited to move through the emotions, making space for what wants to emerge. God is inviting me to bring that clown part of me to the surface and allow for the further shedding of long-held restraints that have hampered its loving, playful expression.

—

Our greatest gift to the world is to offer and honor our authentic selves and allow and encourage others to live into their authentic selves.

I know you have your own bittersweet challenges past and present, because you are human. I am rooting for the authentic you.

Stay tuned.

-esb

1. What invitations are emerging for you in this season from God, intuition, the Universe?

2. How can love be your guide today?

3. What would choosing to play and honor your inner clown some each day bring into your life?

4. What activities do you do to help you connect to the truth that your body is communicating to you?

(For numerous reasons, I highly recommend you do Clown School with David Bridel if you have the means. This remarkably grounding and embodied practice will change you for the better - no matter your walk of life, aspirations, artistic interests, or career choices. A LYHL Podcast episode with him will drop as soon as I have the bandwidth. Maybe if you send out some prayers and intentions the bandwidth will arrive sooner?)